This is probably one of the most difficult posts I have ever written. It’s difficult to write when your head is filled with so much emotion and your eyes filled with tears. And before I start I need to preface that this is just an attempt to get my thoughts and feelings out on paper. I don’t really care if anyone reads this, and the title says Threes, not trees.

As a strong believer of the bible, I believe that we are wired to live life in our community, and I believe that there are biblical one anothers that we must fulfill. One of those one anothers, being to love one another and to be there for one another. That being said, I do not want this blog post to have the result of “oh poor pitiful Ryan”, and I do not need text messages and e-mails and phone calls from people asking me to talk about this. I’ll take your support, and I would love your prayers; that is all I want and that is all I expect from you.

So to start, the last two weeks have been hell for me. Last Monday I received a phone call from my mother at 8:30 am. If you know me, to call me before noon, the world must be ending. And with the news that this phone call brought, my world seemed like it was ending. My mom informed me that my parents were splitting up. No warning, no signs, just a separation that will eventually end in a divorce. It was a gut wrenching call because my mom was hysterical. I hope none of you ever have to take a call where you feel so helpless and so shocked and so upset because there is really nothing you can do to make the other person feel better. Saying “everything is going to be alright” sounds so cliché because after the last 25 years of marriage, to split, everything is not going to be alright.

Sure down the road life goes on and moves on. You rediscover who you are as a person and you learn that there is life outside of your spouse. But those facts don’t help today; they didn’t help a week ago. I said a prayer with my mom over the phone; hung up, and just reflected on the past, shocked at the news I was just told. Life goes on…

So I spent the week reflecting, keeping myself busy working on the Youth Foundation and hanging out with close friends whom I talked things out with. Christina and I spoke often on the subject and reflected as well. I imagined I could keep this bottled up by just releasing the steam every so often to close friends I know I could talk to. That attempt has failed today.

Today I got news that a friend of mine from Thomas More College, was killed in action in Afghanistan. I haven’t seen him in 5 years but, as I’ve stated to many people before, one death brings back so many memories of people before him. I really miss my friend that died many years ago. I keep thinking to myself that I’m over it, that I’ve moved on, that I can deal with losing someone so close to me at such a young age, but I’m not there yet. And every death of a friend since, I am reminded of that. He’s the reason I do ministry. He’s the reason I counsel people. He’s the reason I am who I am.

The third part of my troubles is that my very good friend is moving in June. Although I do not know where he is moving to, he isn’t sure yet either, it could be a very far distance away and seeing him will be very difficult. I’ve had plenty of come and go relationships and we always end by saying “we’ll stay in touch” or “we’ll still see each other” but that never comes to fruition. It’s very sad to be losing such a great friend, but I know that the opportunity he is going to will be such a great thing for him. Just with all of these other difficult things ongoing in my life, it’s difficult to imagine not having him to turn to when I need a friend.

So, I guess you can consider this my cry for help. Not as drastic as most but, I need your help. I need your prayers. I need your prayers for my family, for my parents, for my sister who is up north and isn’t here during this family changing time. I need you, to be a friend to me because as we know… life goes on, and time will continue to turn. My birthday is in a week and I don’t see much to be celebrating. But, because I have great friends like you, I’ll make it through this troubled time. I appreciate you, I appreciate your friendship and because God doesn’t give someone more than they can handle, I know, I’ll only become stronger because of these experiences.

With Love,

Ryan

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